An Inspiring Woman

The woman who was the somewhat reluctant inspiration for my second novel, Promise of the Bluebell Woods, died on July 26^th, 2023. Her real name, at birth, was Elsie Yvonne Pearl Martin, but she was weakly disguised as Pearl Masters in my novel. The story followed her life from 1942, when she met a Canadian soldier who became her first husband, to 1946 when she landed in Canada as one of 41,251 women who married Canadian soldiers while they were overseas fighting for our freedom. The path of the story was non-fiction, while the individual scenes were fictionalized. This was done to bring them to life and fill the blanks in Yvonne’s memory as well as the things she simply couldn’t know because it was the real-life experience of the man who became her first husband, Kenneth Roderick Gage.

Yvonne claimed the novel was 75% true. The section of the story she felt was most fictionalized was her role at the factory. However, there was a lot of truth to that part of the story. She became the secretary-treasurer of a business designated as essential to the war effort at the ripe, old age of 18. She was a whiz with numbers and very thorough at documenting and filing personal documents throughout her life, so I am certain she was an asset to the war effort in her role with this company, perhaps not in the exact way portrayed in the book. Yvonne just downplayed the importance of her role, being the humble person, she was.

She was the kind of person who never put herself first. She made life choices based on the well-being of others and always ensured that her choice would not inconvenience anyone else. It never mattered if she was inconvenienced as a result. It only mattered that others were not. As a result of this personality characteristic, I was never sure of her true feelings about the novel. I knew she would never tell me if it in some way hurt her feelings or misrepresented who she was as a person. When she began giving away copies of the novel to her caregivers, as her life force dwindled, telling them it was the story of her life, she convinced me that she identified with Pearl Masters and enjoyed being immortalized in a novel. I was relieved to know her approval was genuine. I was happy to have given her something after all she has given me.

Yvonne taught me a great deal throughout the almost 50 years she was my mother-in-law. One lesson stands out. She lived by the heart and soul of the serenity prayer. “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” If she couldn’t change something she didn’t like, she changed how she felt about it and refused to worry. It is likely one of the secrets to her longevity, the secret to being 98 when she passed. I can only imagine all the things she experienced through her life. The world went from face-to-face communication or letters that took weeks or more to be delivered, to sharing a video chat at the press of the button. And she knew which button to press and how to start those calls. It was the way she kept in touch with her family in England during the last years of her life when she was unable to travel to see them. I acted as her technical consultant when things didn’t work but for the most part she was independently able to handle our technological world.

She lived through the depression, a war with its deprivations related to the rationing of food, being forced to choose between the man she loved and the love of her country, not seeing any blood relatives for 20 years after that move, a miscarriage, the death of her first husband, the death of her second husband, two episodes of breast cancer in her 80s and 90s followed by the reoccurrence of that breast cancer which finally took her life. Through it all she looked after others, rather than herself, and enjoyed life whenever she could.

I wonder if it was the harships of her early life that taught her to appreciate what she had and to park any worry that might creep into her thoughts. After all, she would say “Worry is a waste of time, it doesn’t change anything.”

Yvonne kept her hands busy and her mouth shut. She observed others and spent time digesting her observations before speaking, and then only spoke if asked for her opinion. She never interfered with her adult children’s lives, even when it was difficult to be silent; even when she saw them making choices that scared her. When one asked for input she took her time figuring out what to say. The answers were always worth waiting for, as the input was often sage, grown from her intense observation and analysis of the situation at hand as she sat in the background watching it unfold. Near the end of her life, she expressed her wish to have been more outspoken, she didn’t realize how special her silence made her.

She didn’t ask much of others but she has asked that people wear bright, cheeful clothing to a Celebration of her Life, and that they come prepared to celebrate rather than mourn. That request alone says a great deal about her character.

She was a wonderful human being who changed the lives of those who had the privledge of knowing her. I’m proud to be counted amongst them as I know she changed my life in many ways. I believe I will hear her soft whispers in my ear, telling me to slow down and consider my path for the remainder of my years. And I know I will be better off for listening when her spirit speaks.